Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
home. puking in laundry basket.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
