That's intense
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize