Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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