Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
