everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
