How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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