ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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