Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
