dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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