do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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