i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize