you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
