This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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