so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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