My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
