I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
