FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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