I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
