She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
