gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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