around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize