I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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