She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
