the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
