He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
