the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
