He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
