That's when you crack a 10am beer
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
