I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
