You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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