Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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