I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
