Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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