she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
