Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
