Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
