i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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