ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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