i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
