I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize