oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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