Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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