you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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