thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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