My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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