i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize