The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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