Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
