As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
