A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize