She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
