Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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