she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
