I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
