you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize