I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
