hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
