Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
