As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
