is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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