Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
barbara walters just said penis...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
