he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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