I can't breathe out the right side of my face
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
