i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
