you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
