Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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