White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
