just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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