Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
