we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
