that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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