Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
