You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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