Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
