Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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