the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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