waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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