a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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