Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
